I have no clue why, but there are several songs from "The Producers" whirring around in my head right now.  Bizarre.

So...  Where to start?

I've been semi-battling a UTI for the last week or so.  Since Craig and I had a "romantic" night last week.  Bubble bath, candles, music, insanely awesome sex, the whole nine yards.  But I knew as soon as I stepped in the bubble bath that I'd get a UTI.  So I took my antibiotics and hoped for the best.  I still got one and had to take some pyridium but it seems to be clearing now.  I'm drinking a lot more water, but I have no self restraint and haven't cut back my caffeine at all.  Sigh.

Then I pulled a muscle in my hip last night at work.  Don't know when, exactly.  I ran (literally) into a room to prevent a patient from falling, and then right after I had to help get a heavy patient on a stretcher, so maybe my body mechanics weren't right.  Either way, I'm hurting today.  Woof.

Work's been heavy lately.  Lots of blood and chemo to give, lots of very sick patients whose families don't understand that the patient is dying.  It's hard, man.  I'm watching people wasting away, who don't want anything else done, but the families are in so much denial that they insist EVERYTHING be done.  Very frustrating.  Even the doctors are on their last nerves these days.  Makes for a tense work environment.

I ordered proofs of our save-the-dates.... I showed the online design to Craig and he said they were "okay".  Hmph.  I know he doesn't care too much about these things, but I worked pretty hard on them and it took me FOREVER to find a design that I liked.  And if I like the proofs, I'm ordering them, I don't care lol.  Whatever, he can help with the formal invites if he wants, I don't care anymore.

My dad threw me a curveball the other night.  He asked if I was planning on involving my brothers in the wedding.  I honestly wasn't.  I'm trying to keep things relatively simple.  No flower girl, no ring bearer, just.... us getting fucking married haha.  My dad suggested I have Sean and Matt be ushers and hand out programs, but isn't that what the groomsmen do?  I don't even know.  On the one hand, I'd be "the bigger person" including them in my wedding, as Sean neglected to let us be part of his wedding (which I am still slightly bitter about).  But on the other hand, I don't want to hassle with who does what, are they here on time, are they doing it right?  I don't give a fuck.

My mother is also driving me batshit.  She very much wants to help me get ready/dressed on the morning of the wedding, but having her there is gonna give me so much anxiety, she's too stressful.  But I know if she's NOT there, she's gonna be upset about it.  She keeps telling me what "the books" tell her she's "obligated" to do.  And I'm like, "What do you WANT to do?"  She said the books say she should be at all the dress trials and fittings and I KNOW she hates shopping, so I told her she certainly doesn't have to come.  I'd prefer it if she didn't, actually.  But she goes, "Well according to the book, I should be there."  When I asked her honestly if she WANTS to be there, she said, "I hate shopping, so not really.  But you'll be mad if I don't go."  I told her I wouldn't be mad.  She's got crap fashion sense anyway and she'd always be looking at the price tag, which pisses me off.  I said we'd compromise and she could come to my first fitting/alteration after I order the dress.  She seemed okay with that.

I don't give a fuck if she's there or not.  I know that sounds mean, but I know she hates shopping and she'd just give me anxiety by being there.  So I'm perfectly content with her not going.  She's not one of those clingy moms, she and I are not "best friends" as some mothers and daughters are.  So I know I'm not gonna look back and be like, "Oh I wish my mom was there when I was trying on dresses."  Because that's not her/our style.

Whatever.

I'm so over wedding planning haha.  ESPECIALLY with the queen of cheap (my mother) analyzing everything.  My dad is awesome.  He's on my side.  Whatever I want, I get.  He's trying to keep my mother in check.  Bless his heart.

Hmm... not much else to say, really.  Finished The Hunger Games last night.  Thoroughly enjoyed it!  I don't know what to do next, though.  While my Kindle is very... handy when I'm at Craig's (I can read and not have the light on to bother him), I just don't dig it.  I like physically turning pages, I like feeling the weight of a book in my hands or on my lap.  I also can't justify paying money for a "book" which is essentially just a downloaded file.  Like I REALLY want to read Catching Fire but I don't want to pay $8 for it on my Kindle.  That's just ridiculous.  I could get it at the library for free.  I also have a ton of B&N gift cards so I could actually buy the physical book without technically paying for it.

The Kindle's good for free downloads, which I dig.  But the first free book I downloaded was godawful.  Blech.  Now I know why it was free.  I dl'd several others, hopefully they'll be better.

I could become an Amazon Prime member and pay almost $80 a year for free book lending (only one book per month).  But.... I could just get a shit ton of books from the library.  Ya get what I'm saying?

Who knows... I'm a fickle bitch.  The weather today is shitty and ugly and grey and miserable.  I just want to stay in bed.

Time for some lunch.  I'm not super hungry but I have a feeling work is gonna be a shitshow tonight, so I need some fuel.  At least it's Thursday, though this week feels like it's d-r-a-g-g-i-n-g.  Mehhhh.